How To Get Your First Awards Show Appearance Right

Fed up of the fake smiles and mutual pandering of The Academy Awards? In a year that saw George Clooney having to hide a hip flask of booze, instead of being able to walk down the red carpet proudly swigging a quart of bourbon, the question is there – Where have awards ceremonies and festivals gone wrong?

Wouldn’t you want to attend an awards ceremony where everything was out in the open and people actually looked like they were enjoying themselves, NOT like they were thinking about the $40,000 gift bag waiting in their hotel room? Somewhere hot and sunny in the Mediterranean?

That’s right, we’re talking the champagne, the French Riviera, and The Cannes Film Festival… and we’re talking doing it Jacques D’Azur style.

How to dress

Whether you’re a tennis teacher, a backgammon champion, or jet-setting film producer (Jacques was all three), it doesn’t matter WHAT you wear – but how you wear it. Yes, Jacques would suggest wearing a perfectly taylored suit like himself, but would also suggest that you don’t wear something designer and expensive only because you’re being paid to advertise it, but because you look good wearing it. Though one exception to this would probably be the benefits of a handcrafted Hermes tie as wearing one says ‘I know how to present myself’.

Who to Take

This isn’t a time to deliberate about which best friend you’ll take. In the D’Azur rulebook it is more important HOW you make your entrance. So who you take? Your Grandparent says ‘I am very much into family’, a girlfriend/boyfriend says ‘Sorry people, I’m attached’, and taking a friend says ‘I couldn’t find anyone better’. Jacque’s would say it’d be better to disappear into the jungles of Venezuala for several years, only to return for your Cannes debut surrounded by an entire Yamamena tribe in ceremonial gear. It shouts ‘I have a lot of friends. I also travel. I also know people with spears. I like to drink with people who carry spears’, which’ll add to your mystique and appeal on the red carpet as people ask who you are.

What to do

When attending such a high-profile occasion for the first time it’d be natural not to want to get in anyone’s way, but you’d be wrong. You obviously begged, borrowed, stole yourself a ticket – or you are staring in a film there, which automatically makes you cool – so why waste an opportunity to enjoy yourself. Jacques would suggest not rushing down the red carpet to take your seat in the auditorium, but gracefully and charmingly signing at least a 1000 autographs. Good publicity, good fun, and you might be lucky enough to unwittingly meet your future stalker for the first time in the crowd. They’ll be the one who shakes your hand just a little bit longer than is comfortable.

What to drink

After the rigourous work out of signing so many autographs (more kudos if it wasn’t for a film you were staring in), you’re going to be thirsty. Martini and champagne are the only way to go. And be nice to the waiters as they mingle through the crowds enough to find out where all the best after parties are.

Where to end the night

Hopefully by this time you’ve met a lot of very important people, will be down to a few straggling Yamamena tribesmen, and partied and drank yourself to the beach as the sun comes up. This is the perfect moment to disappear from your new friends’ lives as suddenly as you burst into it. Jacque’s usual rule would be to be sighted the next day in The Alps, or shopping in New York, but more recently he has taken to disappearing with his yacht, the ‘Bridgette et Anna’, off the coast of Tahiti.

For more info/hints/tips on how Jacques would do things, check out his Facebook page.